1. |
Actor
02:53
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I can’t wait to begin the treatment for love when it ends
My nerves will depend on how you sever, your dear friend
I’m merely an actor, I never belonged
Real affection alludes me ‘cause I’m dumb
I won’t trust anybody, I know that I’m wrong
I can’t wait to begin the dreams or delusions to kick in
Where you’re somebody who won’t turn away when I’m sad
I’m merely an actor, I never belonged
Real affection alludes me ‘cause I’m dumb
I won’t trust anybody, I know that I’m wrong
At least I won’t get hurt when you’re gone
I can’t wait to begin to feel alone again
I’m merely an actor, I never belonged
Real affection alludes me ‘cause I’m dumb
I won’t trust anybody, I know that I’m wrong
At least I won’t get hurt when I’m done
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2. |
Curtain Tricks
03:06
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Curtain tricks, windows pause for the sunset to strip
Appealing with our eyes, fired up watching it
A reasonable time to embrace and admit
Reliable, I’m not what you expect
Infallible, a constant emotional thread
You’re always on the move to a better mess
I’m always on the move for a steady head
Sirens call, darkness wails till it dampens the roar
My ears are ringing like a violent war
Bullets are aimed at my feverous heart
You’ll watch me choke as teen years scupper my shots
Presents given, wrapped in superfluous knots
I’m bound by a string of unfortunate luck
Dates roll by, I think this calendar’s stuck
I know that I am blessed with some nasty fits
I know that you can hardly make sense out of it
I know the fear has taken an icy grip
I know that I have made an incredible slip
Reliable, I’m not what you expect
Infallible, yes, constant emotional threat
You’re always on the move to a better mess
I’m always trying hard for a steady head
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3. |
Disappear
04:07
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I was a mess when I came to your house
You thought that I wasn’t so bad
We took to the night
And danced in the ‘fire’
to my ‘panic’ marathon
And I saw you kiss someone unlike me
when we were in the underground
The moment seemed still for what felt like a week
Before we both turned around
What can I do when I want to disappear
Where can I go to escape this poison air
It took a few days, when I took a few months
“You still alive? it’s been forever and I miss you”
The world muscles through without taking a breath
And I’m grateful you’re noticing
But my mind is wired, and not ready for this
too much fear in the oxygen
I wrote you a note, and it read like abyss
and left it under Palahniuk
What can I do when I want to disappear
Where can I go to escape this poison air
Formulating letters I’m too scared to send
Walked out into a winter that never ends
Caught without friends, before the start of New Year
I’ve regressed and I’m lost in my bed
Alone in my head, alone with my stress
with the thought hanging, ‘I’d rather be dead’
Routine loops around me in a hapless bend
until it’s crushed under a broken press
Turned into a ghost, and nobody knows
You broke away from me when I said
What can I do when I want to disappear
Where can I go to escape this poison air
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4. |
Perspective
03:08
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I’m sorry, I can’t do this, I can’t help you
I just make you worse, I’m no good for you
I flake, I feel guilty, and I can’t spend time with you
I feel shit and I’m anxious whenever I think of you
I am angry and sad at the things you say to me
I’ve gotta stand up for myself, I’ve gotta be selfish and leave
The thing is I’m sick as well, it’s not fair what you do
You can’t use your mental illness to manipulate me too
You said I’m evil to you, and cut yourself because of me
You tried to kill yourself ‘cause I won’t talk to you
And if you keep trying then, I don’t know what to do
I can’t be around you, I can’t do this anymore
It’s making me miserable, this thing is toxic
And i won’t let you, so fuck you
I’m cutting you off
I cared so much for you, but I couldn’t, and don’t help you
No matter what you say, with every word that you say
It is bullshit, you are bullshit, don’t speak to me ever again
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5. |
Obituaries
02:01
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I didn’t make it out in time before everything collapsed
And in my head’s obituaries, there are some things that
I wanted to say, but I was too early to break
And now you’re probably feigning ‘okay’
While harbouring a chest full of hate
Remember when you used to ask to meet me after work
I’d play guitar, you’d fall asleep, and I really miss those
hours of peace; where it was just you, the cat and me,
Before the time I’d cut into my skin
Before the time you’d turn to beat me in
With words that stick like ‘poison’ to the brain
I get it, I am ‘vile’ and ‘shit’ and ‘insane’
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6. |
Goodbye (For Now)
01:42
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Tomorrow
You will feel better
Direct your anger at me now
Tomorrow
There’ll be no answers
We’ll stop all our questions and leave it now
Tomorrow
I’ll leave an excuse
Hide it in the truth
Believe me now
Tomorrow
There’ll be no agendas
One simple answer to leave you now
Goodbye for now
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