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Motions

by Tea Leaf

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1.
Promise 02:01
I made a promise to myself that I would not carry on ‘cause what’s the point, I cannot beat this juggernaut I feel abused, I feel like not coming back from this walk I think I’m breaking up, I think I’m breaking up It’s happened before, and it’s happening again I need some support ‘cause I’m tearing at my skin No one will help me or share this suffering Where did you go? The rosebud and crow? The trauma won’t fade, it’ll never outgrow The space has thickened and it’s gonna choke These pills are no good, the phone calls don’t help I can’t talk to strangers to tame my mental health Cruelty has risen up in everyone Feel this is the end, find my own way out Lost all of my friends and I’m not quite sure how ‘Be kind to yourself’ when you’re lost in the crowd ‘Be kind to yourself’ when you’re lost in the crowd
2.
Motions 02:28
A year in the life of hiding out of your sight And I am tired of my voice when I cry I am stronger than this, but I just want to quit And I’ve broken every promise I made “Tom, lift your mind from the pavements And the notes that you’ve left them On how you plan to be back soon Your life is constantly changing The pain is withdrawing Possibility; it’s yours to pull through” There are chances to die, I’ve not made up my mind Your presence has me terrified ‘cause I am selfish and mute, I am horrible too And my sorrow and self-pity is cruel “Tom, leave your noose on the doorstep And the knots in your heart wretch ‘cause you’re never coming back here again Your life is constantly changing It’s a positive motion”
3.
Summer 03:09
Recollecting all of my summer days So I can set them ablaze No one needs to hear about them anyway Surfaced strain, my pain, it’s an ongoing thing I know you’ll understand but I can’t Let you in, or risk myself imploding Drawing out a year with an unblemished tear Do I lose or forget, am I marionette When my mental state is eroding Calling over again With no real intent But to calm down Am I calm now? I am trying hard today I am staying here today No hurt to appropriate Keeping all of myself safe “We’re so glad you’re making progress We know it’s tough to not feel misread Summer’s done so don’t feel hated We care for you and that’s what matters We know you’re strong to make it through this Just do your best, you are a good person Make mistakes, so long as you stay safe”
4.
Grief 03:18
I wonder if my memories have cursed me from afar All I think of are those helpless days waiting for you to fall apart I never wanted loneliness from you I wanted a bit more time I never wanted emptiness I wanted you to know that you’re loved, that’s all I wonder if you’d meant to be distant from your thoughts To keep all of your darkest dreams from reaching us at all You never wanted anything from me You just wanted peace of mind You never wanted empathy You wanted to take your life So you took your life And it took mine
5.
31/12 03:07
There’s nothing to hear I’ll tremble back home And rest on the empty Memos I own Collecting on memories is something to do As all hands begin to Turn towards you

about

Motions is a concise reflection, twin, and follow-up to Disappear; further detailing a harrowing relationship with mental health, suicidal ideations, grief - all with a sense of empathy and gentle self-awareness towards themselves, and others. Unlike the previously bare-bones EP, the arrangements here are warmly expanded with piano, keyboard, and vocal support from prior tour friends. It marks a non-linear shift into themes of growth and self-help, albeit with hurdles along the way - "it’s a positive motion."

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released September 20, 2019

mastered by Tom Woodhead at Hippocratic Mastering

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Tea Leaf Leeds, UK

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